Will you blow on my dice?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
