You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize