remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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