I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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