I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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