your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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