At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize