I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
