The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's shark week go big or go home
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
