Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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