Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
