Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
