On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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