I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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