Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
