OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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