I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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