yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize