it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
