Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
