WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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