I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
