So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize