1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
