Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
