dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
