"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
