69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
