It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
