I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will be naked everywhere
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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