It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You need a sexual gate keeper
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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