I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
