JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
