I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
