I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
