i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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