The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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