What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
