Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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