they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
