I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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