Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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