no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
