planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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