He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
