Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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