i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
