sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
