Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
