that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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