You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
