the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Less talking, more tequila
There's always time for handjobs
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
