Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
