yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
