Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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