Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
