he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
