my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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