Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
