i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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