My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
