they need to just BURY HIM!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
